Chain letters
by Kveldulf
Summary: Email chain letters are so stupid... or are they? Jack X Katnappe


CHAIN LETTERS

Author's Note: I'd like to credit Akiko142 for coming up with the idea that inspired this story.

Jack sat down in front of his computer, turned it on, and clicked on his email icon. He typed in his user-name and password, and was presented with his email.

"Two new messages." He read allowed, checking the first one.

From: Wuya Jack Spicer I HATE You!

Jack grimaced, and deleted the email without reading it. The second email was from an anonymous address, and had the subject line "Forward This to twenty People". Intrigued by the sheer simplicity of that pseudo-sentence, Jack clicked on the message and read:

"Forward this message to twenty people in the next hour or your love life will be cursed for a thousand years, assuming you live that long, which I highly doubt. If you comply with this rule, you will be lucky in love, starting today."

Jack jumped as the door to his computer room opened, and he turned to see Katnappe standing behind him. She had been staying with him as a sort of evil-apprentice. Jack knew she was probably just using him to get the Shen Gong Wu, but he didn't care. For some strange reason, he actually liked having her around. She was stubborn, self-centered, and demanding, yet he just seemed to feel happy whenever she was around.

"Oh," she said, disappointment ringing heavily in her voice, "you're using the computer?"

"Yeah," Jack replied indignantly, "well it is my computer."

"Whatever," she countered, "just don't take all day so I can check my email."

She left the room, making a cat-like hissing noise of displeasure, which Jack was sure had something to do with him.

It was then that the realization hit him, like a Xiaolin Monk's devastating attack on one of his attempts to do something evil. Perhaps if he could forward that email to twenty friends, Katnappe would feel the same way about him, that he felt about her, or something like that.

"But I don't even know twenty people," Jack shouted in exasperation, "how am I going to do that!"

Ten minutes later, Jack watched as his email was sent out to nineteen duplicate email addresses, and Wuya. His plan had succeeded, he was going to be lucky in love. Suddenly a hand grabbed his arm and wrenched him out of his chair.

"That's it," Katnappe snapped, glaring at him, "computer time is over!"

She shoved him out the door and slammed it in his face, drowning out his protesting shouts about chain letters.

Katnappe sat down in front of the computer, and typed in her email retrieval password, careful not to damage her freshly manicured nails. She was surprised to see that she actually had a message. It was from an anonymous address, so she read it quickly, and deleted it, ignoring it's foolish message bout curses or whatever. At this point Jack was hammering on the door, and from the sound of it he was throwing his full weight against the door, trying to get it open. Katnappe quickly opened the door inward, causing Jack to fall flat on his face at her feet.

"Computer's all yours." She laughed, stepping over him and leaving the room.

One Hour Later

Jack logged in to his email account, eager to see the result of his grand master plan, of forwarding a chain letter.

"ONE MESSAGE!" He squealed with girlish delight.

"Keep it down," Katnappe shouted from downstairs, "I'm trying to take a catnap!"

Jack ignored her and opened the message eagerly.

"You have done well, and will now have a charmed love life. CONGRATULATIONS! w00t"

Jack could barely contain himself with a strange feeling he soon recognized as joy. It worked! It worked! Now all that was left to do was talk to Katnappe, and let his new charm take effect. He hurried downstairs, where Katnappe lay on a couch, purring silently.

"Uh hey Kat," he stammered nervously, "uh I wanted to uh, tell you something."

"Can it wait," she asked, "I need to go check my email."

"Oh uh I guess."

Katnappe left the room, glad to be rid of Jack even for just a little while. She knew he liked her, it was SO obvious, and SO annoying. Sure having a guy cater to her every whim would be nice, but it was Jack! Katnappe was surprised yet again to see that she actually had a message waiting in her InBox.

"YOU HAVE FAILED! You will have no future in love, you have disobeyed the ancient law of the chain letter, and shall now be punished with a curse worse than death!"

Katnappe deleted the email, and yawned. Why couldn't she ever get an interesting email? Maybe she should visit more of those chatrooms her parents use to worn her about.

"Oh uh hi Kat," Jack said from the doorway, startling her out of her thoughts, "listen I really need to tell you something."

"What!" She snarled, irritated by his persistence.

"I LOVE YOU!" Jack shouted, reaching out and pulling her into an embrace.

Katnappe's face drained of color as she realized the horror that was occurring now before her very eyes. What she was witnessing was far more terrible than any Heylen Sorcerer or evil genius. She had ignored the chain letter, and the curse was real.


End file.
